Showing posts with label married. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married. Show all posts

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Money Problems In Marriage

Money problems in marriage are more common than you think. You might be surprised at how the smallest money issues can erupt into something so serious that they lead to divorce. However, that doesn't mean you have to suffer the same fate as well.

By learning about these money problems in marriage, you'll be able to find a balance between marriage and money. You'll be able to avoid making the same mistakes or getting into the same arguments as many other couples do.

1) When one spends too much and another spends too little.

This is one of the toughest money problems in marriage to face. People who get married to each other don't necessarily have the same values. The best way to deal with this kind of issue is to compromise. How?

Say you're the one who spends more money than your partner and you end up buying clothes worth hundreds of dollars. If said clothes are really a necessity, tell your partner that they could just be their birthday gift to you. It's also important to let your partner have their way once in a while.

2) When one is constantly in debt and another nags too much.

Nagging rarely ever brings about the kind of results you want. But then again, debts don't really do much for your marriage either.

If you're already married to a person with a lot of debt, it's time for a serious talk. Your partner's debts will affect not only your life, but your children as well.

Help your partner erase his debts by working together on a time line. Make them understand the gravity of the situation and what both of you have to give up for a while. It won't help to have one give up on their hobby, while you go showing your money off in their face. Dealing with debt is a team effort.

3) When one does not share and another wants support.

One of the most common money problems in marriage is the sort of system couples have with money. Some couples like to merge their finances in one bank account. Others like to keep separate accounts. Why don't you talk and see which one works best for you?

However, if you can't come to an agreement, why don't you do it half and half? Sure, you can still have a joint account; but each of you can set up a separate account on the side. Get the best of both worlds.

Money problems in marriage are common, but they need not be responsible for ruining your marriage. There are ways to get around these money issues. Just remember that you're no longer single. You have a partner with whom you should be able to trust and compromise with.

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Friday, January 28, 2011

Why is Marriage So Difficult

Why is marriage so difficult? Why do two people who love each other or once loved each other, end up hurting each other?
The Bible is honest when it says, Marriage is Suffering, but it also speaks about how marriage is ordained by God. God created man and woman and told them to be fruitful and multiply. He also said that when a man and a woman marry two will become one.
So why is there suffering in marriage, the answer is simple. We are all sinners. You might be a good person but that doesn't stop you from being a sinner. We are selfish and full of pride and even when we do good things, there is always a self-interest behind it.
Two will become one. Two people with different backgrounds, different experiences and different temperaments are slowly becoming one, and this is a painful process.
So how can we persevere through the pains and sufferings. Here are a couple of suggestions, one is to include God in our marriage and the other is to change our way of thinking concerning marriage and suffering.
Our pride and selfishness leads us to believe that marriage is only about us, and that our spouse should be there to satisfy all our desires. So when they don't do that, we react by trying to make them feel as bad as they made us feel or by looking for a way out of the relationship, either with divorce or looking for somebody else who you think will really make you happy.
If we involve God in our marriage, this doesn't mean that you will never suffer, you will suffer because like I said earlier, you married a sinner. If we involve God in our marriage then we know God wishes for us to be like Him. And one of the tools that God uses to mold us and change us is other people, including your spouse or should I say especially your spouse. Since it's the person you spend the most of your time with and knows intimate things about you that others don't. So when we suffer in our marriage we should ask ourselves, what does God want me to learn from my spouse and this experience.
What does God want to change in Me! Now that's different since most of the time we're thinking about how the other person should change.
But the amazing thing is that if both spouses have the mentality of, "what does God want to change in me", then you will grow as a person and you will seek to change for the good in order to be a blessing to your spouse which in turn will bless your marriage.
If only one spouse has this mentality, then it will be a little more difficult, but there is still the chance that maybe through your example and Godly love, your spouse will change.