Friday, June 22, 2012

Registration of Marriages to be Made Compulsory in India

The government will amend the Registration of Births and Deaths Act, 1969, to include registration of marriages under the purview of this law. The amendment bill to be introduced in Parliament during this session. This will provide legal protection to couples, especially in cases of inter-religious matrimony.
The Union Cabinet has also approved amendment to the Anand Marriage Act, 1909, to provide for registration of marriages of Sikhs that has been a long-standing demand of the community.
The proposed Bills will be beneficial to women, protecting them from unnecessary harassment in matrimonial and maintenance cases. It will also provide evidentiary value in matters of custody of children, right of children born from wedlock of two persons whose marriage is registered and the age of the parties to the marriage, Union Human Resource Development Minister, Kapil Sibal, told reporters here.
While marriages of Sikhs along with those of Buddhists and Jains are currently registered under the Hindu Marriage Act, Muslims, Parsis,Christians and Jews have separate Acts for registration.
Necessary provisions have also been made to avoid duplication of registration both under the proposed central legislation and State laws. The registration of marriages under the proposed amendment would, however, not affect any right recognised or acquired by any party to marriage under any law, custom or usage.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Creating A Perfectly Blended Family: The Do’s and Don’ts Of It

Rocky and Namrata waited until they decided to get married to tell the children. Soon after they were married they informed the children they expected to be called mom and dad. Since they had different beliefs about discipline, Rocky and Namrata handled their children differently. A few months into their efforts to create a positive blended family experience, they realized it wasn't working. Strained relationships, marriage stress, and conflict abounded.
Sadly, much of the family tension that existed was preventable. Had Rocky and Namrata implemented the strategies detailed in the do's and don'ts of creating a blended family that follow, they could have saved themselves considerable frustration.
Are you contemplating blending two families together? Are you planning on marrying someone with children? If so, check out the ideas below. They just may help you create a more satisfying and nurturing blended family.
Do's and Don't for Blended Families:
Do start talking with your children about the possibility of blending your family, early. LONG before your marriage, begin the dialogue about the future family life. Mix in lots of listening so that all the children feel heard.
Don't push your children into creating relationships. Allow those relationships to evolve slowly and naturally over time. Give your children the time, space and flexibility to adjust to the new situation.
Do establish new traditions. Some current traditions and rituals you will want to maintain. Others you will need to create around the new family setting. Look for uniqueness in your new blended family and build a tradition around that.
Don't expect your stepchildren to call you mom or dad. Let the stepchildren decide what they want to call you. Their comfort level is important here. If they don't naturally settle on a name, meet with them to mutually establish a name that you are comfortable being called.
Do establish a unified parenting approach that is evenly applied to all in the family. Reach agreement with your new partner on how to address the important parenting situations that present themselves. Correct behavior from a position of, "This is how we do it in our family."
Don't focus exclusively on the family and neglect strengthening your marriage. Raising children is a challenge. Raising other people's children is a special challenge. Having a strong marriage will help you manage the challenge of blending your families together.
Do spend some time alone with each child and stepchild. Set aside time each day to connect one-on-one with all the children in your new family. This will help them establish a sense of belonging that enhances their connection to the family.
Do hold family meetings. This gives all members of the family a chance to express their opinions and have input into the rules, schedule, and planning of upcoming events. Family meetings provide opportunities for family members to vent as well as express appreciation.
Don't attempt to do it alone.Seek support from a local community organization or family therapist professional.

Helping couples improve strained relationships (MarriageCounseling)

If your family has been going through troubles due to your strained relationship with your partner, it is time to seek marriage counseling from a trained counselor or therapist. Various types of counseling services are offered for helping couples to resolve conflicts and repair their stained relationships. Some people might opt for faith-based counseling to their clergy whereas others might refer to professional help and guidance through therapy sessions. Following is a list of some of the professional psychiatrists who can offer marriage counseling.

1.Psychologists or other mental health providers with license in clinical psychology

2.Social workers having a Master's degree in social work

3.Family and Marriage therapists having a Master's degree and clinical experience in family therapy

4.Medical doctors who are trained Psychiatrists and offer medicine prescriptions

Couples counseling, individual counseling, group therapy and family therapy are some of the most popular types of counseling modules approached by the marriage counselors. If you too have been looking for counseling or therapy sessions to restore and rebuild your relationship with your partner, you can seek help from any of these above mentioned sources. However, it is important to consider here that no amount of marriage counseling will help unless both the partners are 100% committed to work through their marriage. Learning useful tricks to work out disagreements from counseling sessions is a long term investment that can take a long time from several weeks to months or even years depending on the intensity of the situation.

A licensed marriage counselor would help you to learn the tools that are needed for effective communication so that you can resolve the differences and difficulties during crisis situations. Depending on the degree of deterioration of your relationship, your counselor would ask you to come for weekly, bi-monthly or monthly sessions. No matter how often, your therapist asks you to attend his sessions, the goal is to bring you together with your partner and analyze the source of conflict. Therefore you must always consider the location of the therapist before approaching him/her. Following are some helpful tips for finding therapist in your neighborhood:

1.Ask your family physician for referrals.

2.Search in your local phone book / yellow pages directory for family and marriage therapist under the counseling section.

3.Ask your family members and friends for referrals if they know of any reputable marriage counselors.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Most Important Things to Say to a Guy You Just Met

The hardest part of meeting guys is knowing how to strike up an intriguing conversation that will keep him wanting more.

At a sports bar: "What's the most impressive goal you've ever scored in a game?"
Double entendre aside, ahem, dudes love to talk about sports almost as much as they love to brag. This question taps into both of those things. Whether he tells you about his high school years as the star quarterback, or surprises you with a minor league past — just know he's already digging you, simply because you asked.

At a club: "I dare you to show me your moonwalk."
To a guy, completing a dare is as mandatory as applying deodorant in the morning. Moonwalk, Macarena, or The Dougie — he's going to do it. And when he makes a complete clown out of himself, you'll be there to swoop in and save him from his two left feet. We're guessing he'll repay you with a round of drinks.

At a restaurant bar: "They have the best nachos here. Ever tried 'em?"
If they don't serve nachos, choose another menu item nearly everyone has a strong opinion about, like pizza or wings. Best case? He agrees with you and you decide to share a plate. Worst case? He disagrees, you flirtatiously fight, and then you offer to buy him some — just to prove him wrong. It's a win-win line that will have any guy eating off of your plate. Literally.

At a friend's party: "I wanted to talk to you the second I got here, but no one introduced me. So I'm introducing myself."
Men are attracted to confident women. He'll think the fact you had the chutzpah to approach him is hot. Sure, some guys like to make the first move, but that doesn't mean they're not pleasantly surprised when a woman does the legwork.

At the laundromat: "I'm bored. What do you normally do when your underwear is drying?"
Guys are extremely visual creatures. Even though you mentioned his underwear, he's automatically thinking about yours — and the fact that they're probably black and lacy, or barely there at all. So basically, you've got him hooked, and even if your only awesome suggestion is a quick round of Fruit Ninja on your phone, count him in.

At the park: "Any ideas on how to turn this blanket into a Twister board? I really want to play."
This shows a guy that you're fun, playful, and energetic — all in one quick line. He'll be curious to see what other crazy thoughts you dream up next.

At a baseball game: "I bet you a post-game drink that (insert player's name) will hit a home run this inning."
It's human nature for men to be competitive, and there's nothing like a harmless wager to get 'em going. He'll probably raise the stakes, turn the drink into a shot, and spend the rest of the game talking to you. So even if that player with the cute rear doesn't hit a home run — that line just scored you an after-game date.
At the gym: "You look like you know your way around this place. Where's that machine that works your glutes?"

While we consistently flatter our girlfriends ("Your hair looks so cute today! Love that top!"), guys rarely receive compliments from one another. So when they hear one, they take note. By saying he knows his way around the weight room, you're telling him he looks buff and manly, feeding right into his macho ego. In return he'll be more than willing to help you find whatever machine you're looking for .. and probably a whole lot more too.

On the beach: "I bet you're wondering how I avoid tan lines."
Nope. He wasn't. But after that comment, that's all that will be on his mind as long as you're laying next to him. And if it's up to him, you'll stay right there, talking to him .. At least until you give up your secret about being a spray tan addict.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Marriage in Trouble Signs

Here are some signs that will help the couple decide that marriage should be worked out:
1.You do not find your partner lovely, and think of him/her as annoying instead.
2.You go over the same arguments again and again.
3.You no longer walk holding hands. There is a space between the two of you while walking.
4.Your husband changes his appearance with his new polo shirt, sprays cologne over his body and shaves often.
5.You have different activities for a day instead of watching TV together and do walking early in the morning.
6.You sleep with different bed or worst, on different rooms.
7.You no longer laugh at your own mistakes; instead find the mistake as a bullet point for your partner during an argument.
8.You consider the married life as a routine and not a commitment.
9.You no longer ask your partner how his/her day was.
10.You focus more on the flaws of your partner and become defensive when being noticed.
11.You feel like you are the only one who is reaching and working out for the marriage.
12.When a partner is asked where he/she came from, he/she gets mad and accuses the partner of being too malicious.

Pretending Happy Will Not Make Your Marriage Happy

Common sense may say couples who are nicer, less critical, and more forgiving last.In fact, the only couples who benefit from acting happy are those who genuinely are happy.
While couples who interact with courtesy, love, and respect have the best chance of lasting, forced positive thoughts and actions are not behind it; rather, their solid marriage makes positive communication possible. Those who confront frequent problems — blaming behavior on the other, commanding change, or lodging insults — will not only benefit from forgiveness, but will also just be worse off. A turned head may avoid one fight, but it leads to two others.
We need to rethink the role of positivity in relationships,It's likely to be more nuanced in its benefits — it may benefit only some couples, and further, most importantly, it actually may harm other couples.
On one hand, it's good news. Fakeness can be insufferable, so anything to discourage it is a-OK with me. But for couples in the not-genuinely-happy category, does it feel a bit hopeless to you?

Importance of Marriage Word Over

Marriage is the wonderful occasion and feeling for both bride and groom. Definition of marriage differs along with the thoughts of people and culture of different places. But most of people agree that it is nothing but the lifetime commitment. Marriage is the base that keeps two person bound with other for their lifetime. However, bound period may be different in different countries. In western countries marriages end after 10 years while in the countries like India it runs for lifetime.
Mostly the marriage means that it is nothing but the formal conformation of relationship. Marriages and ceremonies are depending on the various culture and customs of that specific country. Marriage makes ones love life into a promising one. This is the occasion that brings two persons together for the rest of their life by joining their hearts. Wedding is just not means for to join two souls together but gives a proper and definite shape to their life.
However the importance of wedding differs due to different countries and it can not be judged only on the basis of the looks of society. In western as well as eastern countries there are different customs and principles that people use in their wedding ceremonies. The use of these customs and principles helps to keep it forever as the culture. As we know people are forgetting about their culture and customs but the cultural events and marriages are the best source to keep the culture alive.
The factors such as bridal shoes, bridal gifts, wedding invitation and wedding accessories are the most essentials things and in some countries is part of the culture. In Hinduism, marriage is the source that helps to meet both social and religious obligations. Other religions have their own ways to describe the importance of marriage ceremony.
According to some people marriage is the only path that they are following individually. Life is a long journey and everyone needs a perfect path to discover the distance. However, if we get traveling mate with us then the journey becomes too easy and happy. Here our life partners it self is a traveling mate for us who helps to make the journey joyful and happy.

Survive A Marriage Break-Up

Being married could be a fabulous thing but knowing effective ways on surviving a marriage breakup is also critical. Although you have vowed to be with someone for the rest of your life for better or worse, your relationship is just like any other relationship – it sometimes falls apart when the worst of times gets the best of them.
You may think or feel like all is lost, that you would not know where to start. This is especially difficult when you have children or married to the person for a long time. Let us face some facts for a moment; surviving a marriage breakup is never an easy ordeal. Living alone is the least of your concerns; the pain is what makes it more difficult to deal with.
The first step to surviving a marriage breakup is to let it sink. Welcome the pain in every single possible way. It may be unorthodox to think about it as you are wishing to let go of it. However, you cannot really be able to let go of something if you have not recognized it fully. Let it overwhelm you, as this will give you a concrete idea on how badly it feels and how much you would want it to go away. Once you have felt every ounce of pain, you will realize the things that made it not worth it. Do not be bitter and forget about the good times that you have had. Surviving a marriage breakup should lead you to a road to a wiser and healthier relationship in the future.
While every case of a failed marriage is not the same and the aspects that surround it are different, the fact remains the same that it is over. If you have been able to get past denial, then it is time that you face the road to recovery. With this, you would need to get back on your toes and recognize what life has to offer you. For all you know, you are better off without your ex. The wisest move to take is to go out with your friends and have some fun. If you are bold enough, have someone help you organize a divorce party. This is a great way to show the whole world that you are ready to move on with your life and start a new one.
Always think about it this way, it can be difficult at first, but it will only get better as time goes by. Just like a scrape on the knee, it will heal as time goes by. If you ask why, it is simply because it has already happened and the scar will remind you that once upon a time, that marriage existed and you have had your share of happy memories.
Before you know it, you can walk with confidence and your head held high and even be able to be civil with your former spouse – in public or within closed doors. After all, surviving a marriage break up is not that difficult as some people may thought.

When wife may petition for dissolution of marriage

Any wife may present a petition to the District Court or to the High Court, praying that his marriage may be dissolved on the ground that, since the solemnization thereof, her husband has exchanged his profession of Christianity for the profession of some other religion, and gone through a form of marriage with another woman
Or has been guilty of incestuous adultery,
Or of bigamy with adultery,
Or of marriage with another woman with adultery,
Or of rape, sodomy or bestiality,
Or of adultery coupled with such cruelty as without adultery would have entitled her to a divorce,
Or of adultery coupled with desertion, without reasonable excuse, for two years or upwards.
Contents of petition. -Every such petition shall state, as distinctly as the nature of the case permits, the facts on which the claim to have such marriage dissolved is founded.

When husband may petition for dissolution of marriage

Any husband may present a petition to the District Court or to the High Court, praying that his marriage may be dissolved on the ground that his wife has, since the solemnization thereof, been guilty of adultery.

Gandharva Vivah

Mutual love and consent between bride and the bridegroom brings about this kind of marriage. This kind of marriage is a voluntary union of a maiden with her beloved. Parents and kinsmen do not play any role in such marriages. Sexual intercourse before marriage also may occur between the couple. It is not regarded as a prohibition for their following marriage. Kama Sutra says this kind of marriage to be an ideal one. Hindu mythology literature has such type of marriages in abundance. Some of the well known mythological pairs are Bhima with Hidimba; Dushyant and Shakuntala; Kamdeva and Rati, Daksheya and Prajapati, Kach and Devyani, Arjuna with a servant maid and many more described in Sukh Sagar.

Svaymbara is another form of marriage and this existed in ancient times. This form of marriage depicts the choice of a hero as her bridegroom. The royalty of ancient times decided to choose a brave and righteous person as the bridegroom. So invitations were sent to the princes and the chieftains living close by and to distant kingdoms. The bride was allowed to select one from the gathered ones whom wished to put a garland round his neck and the marriage was complete.

The marriage of Nala and Damayanti took place in this process. In the nuptial knot ceremony of Prithviraj and Sanyukta, the bride had put a garland round the neck of a statue of Prithviraj. In some particular cases, a test was given to be completed by the competitors and the winner won the bride. This system was followed in Ramayana too; when Rama pulled the cord of Siva`s bow and married Sita. In Mahabharata, Arjuna shot through the eye of the rotating fish on the top of a shaft to marry Draupadi.

Swaymbara is usually not included in the 8 forms of traditional marriages. But it shares a close resemblance with Gandharva marriage. In this type of marriage, it is also allowed that, the father permits his daughter to choose her husband. Later, love and courtship comes along the way. In such cases, an ardent couple might have entered into a union without entering the religio-legal formalities. This is very common during wars. Later on, the union was legalized through a proper ceremony, thus it was an approved form.

Asura Vivah

This is a type of marriage where the bridegroom pays the value to the father or kinsmen of the bride. The bridegroom decides the price according to the position of the bride`s family in society. This form of marriage is still popular amongst the low caste Hindus and some other tribes of India.

Prajapatya Vivah

This kind of joint performance of sacred duties by a man and a woman is called the Prajapatya marriage. According to the founder of Arya Samaj, Swami Dayanand Saraswati, the father offers his daughter to the bridegroom, by addressing the couple some of the mantras of value.

Arsha Vivah

In this type of marriage, the bridegroom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride, and the father instead gives his daughter in marriage. This exchange of the cow and the bull was considered as a religious ritual and as a token of gratitude to the father in law. The groom is also obliged to him to fulfill the obligations of Grihasthashram.

Daiva Vivah

In this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with heavy ornaments to a priest; this priest performs the sacrifice Yajna. Such marriages were more frequent in earlier times, when Yajna was a vital part of the daily activities of Hindus.